「色、戒」之小女人的愛情觀。

LUST．CAUTION
a little woman's viewpoint of love

張愛玲原著，知名導演李安執導的「色、戒」上映了。當然，這絕對不是號稱「血管裡流動的液體叫汽油」的老公會一起去看的電影，於是跟瑞瑾約好了，下班後搭乘捷運板南線，直奔西門町絕色影城。

"LUST, CAUTION", which was originally a novel written by Eileen Chang, is a movie directed by Ang Lee and comes out in cinemas in September 2007. No doubt Michael, who claimed fluid flowing in his blood vessel is gasoline instead of blood, will not accompany me for this kind of movie. Well, Ruey-Jin and I are happy to go to movies together after office hours. By MRT blue line, we arrived at the movie theater in Shimending on time.



燈暗了下來，大時代的愛情就此展開。畫面出現濃妝豔抹的愛國話劇社成員們，以誇張矯飾的演技感動電影中的觀眾時，現實的電影院裡開始出現不同的窸窣聲響。有人笑，有人哭。不知跟劇中黃力宏的濃妝有沒有關係，還是因為劇中高喊的「中國不能亡」？
我，無風。也無雨。

The light turned to be dark, a story in a turbulent age was begun...When the screen came out the show by the patriotic young, with dramatized make-up on faces and very mannered performance to deeply touch the hearts of audiences in movie, I heard very different noise from audiences in reality. Some were sobbing and some were laughing. Well, I was not sure if sobs or laugh were induced by Lee-Hom Wang for he wore a lot of make-up or by the bombastic tone crying for survival of China!
What about me? They were playing scenes beyond my cognition and experiences...

接著一群大學生開始暗殺特務的計畫與行動。 單純的女大學生--王佳芝，不知是受到愛國心的驅使，還是為了那初初萌芽的曖昧情愫，答應扮演色誘特務的危險角色。為了讓精明的特務不疑有他，強迫自己與一名從無任何好感的男同學「練習」男女床笫之事。當特務因新的任命離開香港的那一幕出現，看著螢幕上女大學生沒有表情的臉，我聽到自己的心嘩啦啦碎了一地．．．

An action to assassinate the special agent was planned by those patriotic young people. Maybe it's because of the patriotic duty of Chia-Chi Wang, maybe just for the love in dark between her and Yu-Ming Kuang, the college girl promised her friends to take on a dangerous role to entice the special agent into lusting after her. Being undergraduate, pure and young, she forced herself to have sex with a man, who never attracted her, to get acquainted with the sexual activity and to play vividly as a mistress. Everything got ready for her but with a bad luck, the special agent took a new mission and left Hongkong. The moment she knew about the news, screen revealed a pretty but expressionless face, I felt like my heart was broken into pieces...



劇情在歷史課本記載的大時代裡進行。我看不見那些留名歷史的英雄人物，只見一個年紀輕輕的孤單女子，在感情裡浮沉、在大愛與小我之間掙扎。不問對方心裡想些什麼了，在袒裎相對的時刻，身體已經忠實地傳達了彼此的惺惺相惜。

The stories went on in the era that I only read in history class. I saw no hero but a young lady with a lonely heart, being struggling to make a decision of "to be or not to be". Not necessary to know thinking of each other, when they were face to face nakedly, twisted bodies faithfully delivered the message of love.

隨著劇情一幕幕接近尾聲，看同行的瑞瑾哭得傷心，我有的卻是了然於心的感動。沒有眼淚。因為～她的選擇，也是，我的選擇。瑞瑾擦擦眼淚，帶著微笑說，很替女主角感到不值呢～可不是？！問世間情為何物，直叫人生死相許！

The scenes were playing to the end...Ruey-Jin was so deeply touched that she almost became a weeping lady. I had no tears. The fate that Chia-Chi Wang finally chose in her life is what I would do if I were in that situation. Ruey-Jin wiped her tears off and with an understanding smile on her face, she said the special agent did not worth the love of Chia-Chi Wang that had made her sufferings; however, that's what love is. Just like the poem by the ancient poet Petőfi Sándor~ "Liberty, love! These two I need. For my love I will sacrifice life."＊



我該感到慶幸不是生在那樣的年代。不要怪女主角沒有想到同伴，當她身陷虎口，進退兩難的時刻，她的同伴們可曾體會她求救的話語？換做是我，選擇上刑場何嘗不是一種解脫！當槍響之後，不會再有毒蛇鑽心的恐懼，也從此不需承受辜負一份愛與信任的揪心之痛！

I think I am lucky not to grow in that age. Never blame on Chia-Chi Wang for her carelessness of her companies. When she was entrapped in a tough situation, who had ever thought about the difficulties she faced or been awaken by her warning cry to get her away from those tortures? To end the sufferings on the execution ground seemed a good way to free herself from this sad love. When the shot was fired, she also got rid of fears that is like a snake break-in her soul, and she would be relieved from the pain of betraying love and trust.

離開電影院，十點半的西門町人群擾攘。帶著各自的愛情，我們在捷運站入口處揮手說拜拜。說好了～下回有好電影還是要一起來喲！

We left movie theater at 10:30 pm. Shimending is still active and crowded by young people. With different viewpoints of love being shared, we waved goodbye at the entrance of MRT and made an appointment for next good show, how perfect we are as movie-mates~~

＊【附註】
此句摘錄一句匈牙利詩人裴多菲．山多爾 (Petőfi Sándor，1823-1849) 的名作，中文譯為「生命誠可貴，愛情價更高」。其實後半尚有「若為自由故，兩者皆可拋」，不過這顯然跟小女子的愛情觀不合，所以就省略啦！

This is a poem by Hungarian poet Petőfi Sándor (1823-1849). "Liberty, love! These two I need. For my love I will sacrifice life" is the half-part of a poem. The full version of this poem should be "Liberty, love! These two I need. For my love I will sacrifice life, for liberty I will sacrifice my love." It's obvious that the last half-part is disagreed with a little woman's viewpoint of love~ that's why I omitted the last-half >_<


　　

結婚紀念日

二○○七年　九月二十八日


時間過得真快，一轉眼，我已經結婚四年了耶～ 單身的時候，已婚的朋友跟我說：妳不要傻了，婚前婚後真的差很多。結婚以後，未婚的朋友則說：看妳這麼幸福的模樣，人家也好想結婚喔！

Time passed so fast, I've been happily married for 4 years. When I was a single, friends who were married said: Don't be silly! It's totally different in life before and after getting married! Now I am married, friends who are single told me they wish to get married for my life after getting married is even more joyful and happy than I was a single.




我該說什麼呢？！其實，婚前婚後真的差很多！老公的工作地點從台南的奇美醫院變成台中的中山醫大，光是空間距離就縮短了將近兩百公里，這樣算差很多吧！

O_o What should I say?! Well, it's indeed different before and after marriage. The distance of Michael and me was shortened from 350 km to 160 km for he quit his job in Tainan Chi-May Medical Center and moved to Taichung Chung-Shan Medical University. Isn't it a BIG difference for us?!

差不多的是我們的生活型態，一週最多三天住在同一個屋簷下；每個週末回公公婆婆家，共享一家人的幸福晚餐。結婚後的生活也依然忙碌精采。我們有各自的朋友與興趣，也有許多共同的朋友與嗜好。不住一起的時候，生活很自在；住在一起的時候，生活很融洽。

I think there was no big difference of our life style before and after getting married. We have 2 or 3 days a week living together. Weekend is the family day, we have dinner time with my parents-in-law every Saturday. While living together, we enjoy and share many things with each other. The other days, we live individually in two cities and have personal life, friends and interests. Living by oneself, life goes on an easy and comfortable way; living together, life is a harmony.




朋友們都會好奇，兩頭獅子一起生活，不會各執己見吵翻天嗎？不會吧～不要忘了，我們可都是有邏輯講道理的研究人員呢。當然會有意見相左的時刻！不過，「愛、信任、尊重」讓我們在表達自己想法的當下，也不曾忘記聆聽對方的見解。所以，有話好說唄～

Friends also are curious when Michael and I have a difference of opinion on something, whether we argue with each other or not. I dare not say "No, we never had a quarrel"; however, I am sure we did not spend time on issues that are not logical or reasonable. Because of love, trust, and respect, the moment we express self opinions, we listen to each other simultaneously.


【後記】我想我是充滿感激的。在感情的路上跌跌撞撞，我不曾因為愛情引起的哭泣或憂傷而不再相信愛情，或失去探索愛情的勇氣，這全都要歸功於家人給我完全的支持與信任吧～已入不惑之年的我，不管別人覺得我天真或孩子氣，我還是要大聲的說：夢想有理，愛情萬歲！

第二次報告

二零零七年。八月二十四日。星期五。

Friday, August 24, 2007


帶著忐忑不安的心情，今天一早陪爸爸回診。
經過四次化療，全家人都很希望看到爸爸的病情獲得改善。
終於燈號亮出爸爸的預約號碼。

With fears that cancer cells are not easy to treat, this morning, I accompanied Papa to hospital for the result of the latest physical exam after the fourth chemotherapy. Waiting for our turn to see the doctor...

寬敞的診間，因為我們進入突然變得有點兒擁擠。　
爸爸坐在面對醫師的椅子上，媽媽姊姊跟我就面對醫師，站在爸爸身後。
看著爸爸的背影，因為化療的副作用顯得稀疏的頭髮，很心疼。
昨晚回到家，看到爸爸稍顯蒼白的臉色，心裡只有不安。

The spacious consulting room became a little bit crowded for our coming~ Papa took the seat facing the doctor, Mama, elder sister and me stood behind Papa. Looking at Papa's back, his hair went bald because of the side effect of chemotherapy. Last night I felt very agitated when I saw ashen-faced Papa at home.

林醫師打開爸爸的電腦斷層結果，螢幕捲～啊～捲～　
大家原本捲著的眉頭，跟著電腦斷層的結果，一點點地打開！
真是謝謝老天爺！腫瘤團塊因為化療的緣故持續縮小中！
左肺上方的壞團塊已經縮小到三公分左右，原本對化療不太有反應、位於肺中隔的那個腫瘤，似乎也縮小了！

Dr. Lin opened Papa's file and the films of CT scan were shown on the screen. Followed with the scrolling screen, the worry eyebrows of everybody turned to be happy shape!!
Thank GOD for HIS mercy!
Size of the tumor masses kept on going smaller under chemotherapy~ The malignant tumor located at the left upper lung has been shrunk to less than 3 cm in diameter. The other one at the center of Papa's lung, which did not respond well to the chemotherapy, also showed to be inhibited by C/T.

離開醫院回家的路上大家的心情都好極了！
雖然爸爸的臉色依舊蒼白，笑容卻如胭脂一般，悄悄地點亮了爸爸的臉龐。
媽媽鎮日深鎖的眉頭，在這一刻，開心得只剩瞇瞇眼了～

On the way leaving hospital, we were cheering for the improvement! Mama's curly eyebrows now disappeared. Papa's face though was ashen still, yet the cheering smile decorated and lighted up Papa's face at this moment.

我，當然是忙著給妹妹、弟弟打電話， 把這個好消息，傳達給未能同來、卻同步掛念著爸爸病情變化的～爸爸的孩子們。這真是令全家人振奮的好消息！

I surely was very busy calling younger sister and brother and telling the good news. It was indeed a great encouragement for everybody of our family!!

腫瘤縮小了!!

五月二十九日起爸爸開始接受化療，兩次的療程之後，這是第一次的療程評估。七月六日是預約要回診看電腦斷層掃描報告的日子，我請了假回高雄家，陪著爸爸一起去醫院。

Papa has undertaken two times of chemotherapy since May 29. I went back to Kaohsiung on Thursday night (July 5) for it would be the first time on Friday (July 6) to see whether the chemotherapy has effect on the tumor masses in Papa's chest. I would accompany Papa to the pulmonary medicine clinics and know the result at the same time.

當我從電腦螢幕上，看到爸爸於五月二十九日開始化療之前的胸腔斷層影像時，心裡的震驚真是難以形容！不過就短短一個月的時間，一開始確診為肺癌時的腫瘤，已從三公分左右的大小迅速增大至四點六公分！難以想像如果不是大姊夫的奔走，化療真的晚一個月才開始，爸爸的病情恐怕會有極大的變化！

I was shocked when Dr. M.C. Lin showed me the chest CT scan taken at the day before the first time of chemotherapy! The tumor masses was obviously larger than the ones I had seen at April 26 -- the biggest one was in a diameter of 2.6 cm and it increased to 4.6 cm during a month! I felt a shiver down my spine and imagined if Papa had the first chemotherapy at June 29 instead of May 29, what terrible things would happened to Papa!

化療後的結果終於要揭曉了。透過電腦螢幕，腫瘤的影像清晰地呈現在我眼前。七月五日的胸部斷層影像，左肺上方及右肺下方接近橫隔膜的兩個腫瘤團塊都明顯縮小了！相較於開始化療之前的影像，最大的腫瘤團塊已縮小到少於四公分！

The effects of chemotherapy was then showed in front of my eyes. From the computer screen, I saw the tumor masses clearly. As they were examined by CT scan at July 5, two of them was significantly decreased in size than they were at May 29 -- from 4.6 cm to less than 4.0 cm in diameter.

但是，位於胸腔中央淋巴結上的腫瘤看起來並沒有太明顯的變化。這個腫瘤團塊其實就是當初讓爸爸失聲的主要原因，因為它壓迫到返喉神經，阻斷了神經傳導，以致於左邊聲帶漸漸萎縮，最後爸爸因為失聲而就診。林醫師跟我們說，因為淋巴結的血管分布較少，化療的藥物又是透過血管送到全身各處，淋巴結可能因為藥物尚未到達有效劑量，所以這個位置的腫瘤團塊看起來變化不大，建議我們等下一階段療程結束，看情況如何再討論。

The one which located on the lymph node of the central region in the chest and was the main cause of Papa's sound-lost symptom seemed no obvious change after the first chemotherapy. It was this tumor mass that blocked the signaling of recurrent laryngeal nerves to the vocal cords and led to Papa's lost of sounds. I felt worried of it. Dr. Lin said the drugs of chemotherapy were delivered by blood vessels and the tumor mass of the lymph node might be affected much slowly for lymph node had less blood vessels.

是啊！我太急了，爸爸曾經說過這是個要與之長期對抗的慢性病，我不該這麼沒有耐心才是。這一次的檢查結果真是令人感到精神為之一振！腫瘤沒有持續增大，對全家人來說是天大的好消息。化療的副作用漸漸出現了，心疼爸爸必須忍受這些折磨，不知該對爸爸說些什麼安慰的話，爸爸卻反過來安慰我，這些都是進行化療必經的過程，不管多麼不舒服或難堪，都是要面對的事實。

Yes, we should be more patient for this situation. We indeed were encouraged by the results of chemotherapy and felt happy about the regression of tumor masses. The side effects of chemotherapy happened to Papa gradually, yet Papa said that's what he has to confront no matter how unpleasant it would be.

親愛的爸爸，我知道你說的這些話都是為了讓我們不要太擔心。身為子女的我，多麼希望可以為您承受這些病痛的折磨，然而現實的情況卻是，什麼事都幫不上忙，又住在遙遠的北台灣，無法陪在您的身旁．．．我唯一能做的就是把自己的身體跟家庭照顧好，讓爸爸可以專心對抗病魔，不用為我的事掛心吧～

Dear Papa, I knew what you said was just comforting words to erase my worries. I wish it were me to suffer from the pains...I am so sorry I did nothing and live far away from you...Yes, I promise you I will be more brave as Papa's expectation to face those unpredictable future and consequences.

高鐵與我。

在虎視眈眈的目光中，高鐵開始試賣；在一片撻伐聲中，高鐵正式營運。我，一個小小國民，原本只是安靜地在一旁看著，從新聞中看著高鐵，又出了哪些狀況；被罵的慘兮兮了，電腦售票系統還是難產～

Having been postponed for several times and lasted for more than a year, the Taiwan High Speed Rail (HSR) finally launched its first service at January this year with the discount fares. One month later, with those embarrassing technical glitches, the HSR ended its trial phase and began to operate in a standard mode... I, looking aside what happened to HSR silently, read from newspaper and saw from TV everyday. Complaint and blame continued, still the online ticketing system failed to work...


高鐵。台中烏日站。候車月台。
Platform of HSR at Taichung Station

本來想過一陣子，等高鐵各項配套措施更趨完備，才去體驗一下媲美日本新幹線的台灣高鐵！沒想到計畫趕不上變化～在今年四月，我有了與高鐵的第一次接觸！然後不知不覺中，我已經變成了高鐵的常客。

I oringinally planned to experience HSR while the HSR corporations get the system well done. However, plans always chase after change...This April, I had my first touch with HSR and later on I became a frequent user of HSR.


【非廣告】我的咖啡。
A traveller with her cafe~

對我來說，高鐵真的提供了便捷的交通。 三鐵共構的板橋或台北車站是我回家的起點，從住家或辦公室出發，捷運沒有預估交通必須考慮的塞車問題，搭乘高鐵不必提早半小時辦理劃位報到，同樣是北高，至多兩個小時的車程，比起台鐵至少四個半小時的煎熬，讓我搭過一次就決定變心！

For me, the HSR system indeed provides convenient and time-saving transportation. I used to board HSR at either Ban-Chiao or Taipei station, depending on where I left for Kaohsiung -- home or office, respectively. I had no worry about traffic jam by MRT to approach both stations. It's not requested to register by half hour before boarding. From Taipei to Kaohsing, the bullet-train of HSR takes less than 2 hours. When I had the first experience with the HSR system, I decided to attach my schedule with HSR and didn't spend time anymore on Taiwan Railway.


一票在手，通行無阻。HSR ticket

目前尚未有捷運的新左營站，則是我回家的前哨站。新左營站可以轉搭台鐵的區間車到鳳山，幸福的我每次回家都是爸媽或姊姊到車站接，所以出了車站，坐上家裡的車，我就覺得自己已經到家了！

The Zuoying Station is the pre-stop for me to get home...the MRT system in Kaohsiung is still under construction. I used to change train at this statoin by local train and get off at Feng-Shen station, which is much closer to arrive home. Papa and mama or dear elder sister will wait and ride me home. I feel that I am home while getting on the car of family.


我的高鐵乘車記錄。My collection...

搭飛機對我來說，全程所需花費的時間，相較高鐵全程，費時相當。 松山機場的接駁交通算便利，從小港機場回家也不遠，加上女兒回家，爸媽總是很開心，所以會去機場載我，雖然現在的我搭高鐵多，等北高航線醞釀中的調降票價成真，我就又多了些選擇！

It takes almost the same time by airplane or HSR to travel from Taipei to my home in Kaohsiung county. It's also convenient to approach Song-Shan Airport for flight as compared with the Kaohsiung Airport. Yet Papa and mama always feel happy to see their daughter back home. They ride and take me home from the airport. However, the transportation fee of flight is 25% more expensive than HSR system. I guess the ticket fares are now been considering to have some discount for business competition...that's good for all travelers including me~ for more choices!!


飛馳中的風景。Flying scenery

在台灣的幾座機場，都有一個共同的致命傷 － 沒有便利的轉運交通！大部分的乘客都必須自備交通工具，或仰賴家人接送，不然就得忍受顛簸的公共汽車，走走停停的把自己載回市中心。

Most of the airports, no matter which is an international or a local one, have the same problem--lack of convenient transportation. Either taken up by family car or rode by taxi, otherwise we have to tolerate the shuffle bus with its "rocky and jerky" style on the way to our destination!


上車前買的雜誌。在車上翻拍封面，瞧！行車多麼平穩～
A magazine with me on the bullet-train.
I took a shot of the cover during travel. See?! A steady running~


【後記】我們的桃園機場和小港機場，號稱國際機場呢！沒有捷運、沒有鐵路，只有班次不多的接駁巴士～讓我不知該如何導引國外來訪的友人，怎麼從機場到台北市區！ 老字號的台鐵，問題也不少！「誤點是常態，準點才意外」的運作方式，讓人不敢恭維。 算了！「不在其位，不謀其政。」小國民我還是摸摸鼻子，做好自己分內之事，閑來寫寫部落格，沒閑就專心過日子吧！

爸爸，加油！

June 16, 2007
Happy Birthday to Dear Papa


還記得小時候，爸爸只要有空，就會帶著全家人一起出門去，或踏青或尋訪美食，可能會遇到塞車，或是天候不佳等等狀況，但一家人一起出遊的幸福就是不會打折！從我們兄弟姊妹還是小小孩的時候，到現在，大家都已成家、為人父母，這樣的幸福一直延續了下來～

I remembered those days when I was a child.
Our family entertainment during weekends was to have a picnic outdoors. Papa loved the NATURE very much and had a strong influence on his children. Sometimes we were stuck in a traffic jam or caught by rain, however, the happiness of family together were never affected.

Now, we--Papa's beloved children--were grown to adults, having our new family, becoming parents and having our children, the good times of family together last.




五月二十八日，爸爸去醫院看前一次的各項檢查結果，確診為小細胞肺癌。原本因為必須等候床位，安排第一次化療的時間為六月二十九日，但因為大姐夫的奔走，第一次化療在五月二十九日即刻開始。

At the day, May 28, Papa went to hospital to see the results of the previous physical examinations. Papa was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. The schedule for chemotherapy (C/T) was arranged immediately. Because of the help from my elder brother-in-law, the date of the first C/T for Papa was promptly scheduled at May 29, instead of June 29.




爸爸很堅強地面對這個事實，並且配合醫生的囑咐開始療程。對於我們的慌張與憂心，爸爸跟大家說「癌症其實是另一種形式的慢性病」，他有信心可以與之抗衡。在第一次化療之後，爸爸除了有些疲倦之外，未出現其他因化療所引起的副作用症狀。

Facing the truth and following the advice by doctor, Papa began to take chemotherapy and told thoughtfully to us "Don't be worried by cancer, it's just like some kinds of chronic diseases."

After the first treatment of anti-cancer drug, Papa said he feels confident to be able to overcome the disease.




六月是爸爸的生日月。爸爸的孩子們依照慣例回家來，齊聚一堂，給爸爸過生日。晴朗的好天氣，全家人浩浩蕩蕩開了三部車，一起到內門的觀音寺為爸爸祈福。

June is Papa's birth month. Every year, we used to get together having birthday cake and singing happy birthday for Papa. This time, we are all worried about Papa's health. We are lucky to have a nice weather this weekend, we drive to Nei-men ( in Kaohsiung County) to visit the temple of Guan-In Budda.

What we can do is to pray for Papa...we wish the side effects of chemotherapy could be minimized and would not exhaust Papa too much...wish no pain would attack Papa, wish cancer cells would go away from Papa...




已經排定下周四進行第二次化療。 做為爸爸的孩子，我們何其幸福！
即便是這樣的情境，我們依然受到爸爸的鼓勵與安慰。

爸爸，您要加油喔！
爸爸的難關也是全家人的難關，
我們全家人會一起面對，也會一起克服！

Next Thursday is the scheduled second time for chemotherapy. How lucky and happy we are to be Papa's children. Even Papa is now suffering from cancer, we are still encouraged and comforted by Papa.

Dear Papa, happy birthday!! Papa is not alone to face the hard time. We family all are going through a tough time at the moment. Just like Papa told me when I was a child "Never say I can't without trial", I believe Papa will not only get it done, but also get it WELL-DONE!!


附註：以上照片由妹夫提供～
PS. The photos above were taken by my younger brother-in-law.

生命中。轉彎的地方。

二零零七。二月五日。

一晃眼，我的部落格又被冷凍了兩個月。
開張一年，被冷落的時間遠遠多於被照顧。
可是明明有很多想跟大家分享的心情與照片呀～
都怪我自己啦！時間的使用與分配沒什麼效率。

其實心裡是有一咪咪抱怨的。
關於我的寶貴生命～那被剝削的只剩零碎片段的時間。
去年這個時候加入的實驗室，現在已成為過去式了。

我。選擇。換。一個。實驗室。
為了不讓自己失去研究的熱忱。為了一直以來篤信的科學的真。
為了不放棄的人與人間的信任。為了窗外那吸引人的燦爛陽光。



沒錯！即使身處暗冥中，也不能忘了光原來的樣子！

所以，我只好面對因為無知所犯下的錯誤。
並承擔自己的錯誤所帶來的損失，在發現後立刻設下停損點。
然後帶著我一直有的對研究的熱忱，
轉個彎，路依然寬廣，生活回復了溫度與豐富。

這是真的。
生命，是一個等待成熟的果園。
我們在其中，不斷地，受傷與復原。

要幸福唷

十二月十七日。星期天。

今天天氣超讚的！是我最喜歡的那種～大大的太陽、冷冷的風．．．
在這樣美麗的日子裡，斯婷將步入新的人生階段，
與那位懂得愛她、寵她、寶貝她的謙謙君子，攜手共組家庭。



以前我總愛跟斯婷說，
「跟你男朋友講，說學姊覺得好康都被他撿去啦！」
斯婷總是像妹妹一般，拉著我的手開心的說，
「對呀！學姊我一定要這樣告訴他～」

好期待這一天到來！
因為這是畢業後，第一次再見到實驗室的大大小小。



看著斯婷幸福的模樣，心裡有說不出的開心。
還依稀記得初識斯婷，那個任性的讓人又疼又氣的女孩兒～
不知什麼時候開始有變化的．．．
驚覺斯婷的不同時，她已蛻變為今日我認識的可人兒。
體貼。聆聽。設身處地。



好多的感動與祝福要說。
到了這一天，滿心滿腦卻只剩一句。

斯婷～要　幸　福　唷！

開心。全。記錄。

週一週二兩天，實驗室全體動員去參加發育生物學的國際會議。
台灣主辦，地點就在離南港不遠的世新會館。

雖然第一天下午跟晚上的議程沒能參予，
白白錯失了數場精采的學生演講，尤其是小牛主講的那一場，可惜了～
不過，週一半天跟週二全天有幸參與的議程，還是讓我覺得很有收穫呢！

對我而言，科學的本質就是開心，OPEN-MINDED～
研究就是不斷尋找解答的過程，RE-SEARCH～
休閒則是科學家的生活要件，RE-CREATION～
三者可都是促使研究工作更上一層樓不可或缺的因素呢！

（哦～希望蝴蝶版的說文解字不會太難以理解）

但我今天最想記錄下來的事件，是關於小牛的～　
記錄小牛跨出屬於他的人生的一大步！
對同是獅子座的我來說，我明白這一步的困難度有多大。
換成是我，這一步可能是永遠無法跨越的障礙。
所以，要記錄下來，也打心底為小牛感到開心！



我的好朋友，小煤炭。
一雙大眼，看進大小事，自黑白分明。
無口無言，任眾說紛紜，無長短是非。

[寓言] 慈悲的王者

最近超級迷戀週末的動畫跟卡通節目。
海賊王、魔法少年賈修、魔法咪路咪路馬拉松。
我發現這些動畫跟卡通有一個共同的特質：劇情都企盼一位「慈悲的王者」。
這讓我覺得這些動畫跟卡通的創作者相當入世。
在童話般的畫面跟故事裡，充份反映了現實的期待。



原來世界大同是現代神話。
所以只好藉由童話的形式，傳達一個寓言故事。
小時候背書，背過一段出自禮記禮運大同篇的短文，
到現在都還可以一字不漏的背誦出來，
不知付諸實現的那一天是否也指日可待！



不過我相信。。。 咪路殿下一定是一位慈悲的王者，
少年賈修終究會贏得魔界的最後勝利！
而我 則會在不堪的現實中，
繼續以自己的方式，快樂、努力且安詳的活著。
像，一隻喵。
(以上為碎碎唸模式)

火大結束，憂鬱拜拜。

將近一週的時間，外在情緒反應呈腥紅色，
心底卻是看不見盡頭的深藍。。。

說好不搞憂鬱的，因為沒那個氣質，外型也不符合～
決定要好好振作一下！
就從更新荒廢多日的部落格開始做起唄～

來秀我的優雅美丹給大家認識～

肥豆的知名度已經很高了。
每回家裡有客人豆豆總是忙得不可開交，
真是名符其實的超級哈拉好客狗腿喵！

來貼丹丹的幾張成名照，免得大家都以為我偏心呢～


看蝦米？

愛買。書。

我有一屋子的書，不分古今中外。
漫畫。藝術史。繪本。童書。
古神話。現代寓言。小說。散文。詩。
這些書是什麼樣的因緣際會，跟我回家?

第一本故事書是爸爸送我的~
「小公主」
全彩，銅版紙的圖畫故事書。
從此開始迷上看故事。

看別人的故事，經歷別人的人生。
在這當中，我最大的收穫是。理解。
理解--走過別人的人生是。經驗。
理解--經歷自己的人生是。教訓。

經驗是傳承用的，優雅的，諄諄教誨。
教訓卻是現世的，粗魯的，不留情面。

去買書，因為生活中的某些狀況。

實驗軋不過來，忙得無以復加的時候，
會極其渴望擁有大塊的時間，可以看書。
經歷大起大落的感情，
會想藉由看書轉移起伏的心緒。
趕論文，就更是看書看的兇了。
不是看參考書喔~
一定要看些八竿子打不著的閒書，
讓自己緊繃的神經得以放鬆。

似乎躲在書中，我就遠離現實的緊迫釘人。
書是。桃花源。

去買書，因為生活沒有狀況。

有些錢存下來，買套百科全書。
只有少少閑錢，就找找熟悉的作家有無新品。
搭捷運往返學校與家裡的一小時，隨身帶書看。
週日不趕時間，不去學校，煮一壺咖啡。看書。

似乎在書堆裡，我就遠離現實的雜亂擁擠。
書是。烏托邦。

去買書，因為書看完了。

像這樣~
大塊得來不易，小段隨手可掬的。時間。
無聲無息的，像呼吸那麼自然的過去了。
留下翻讀過印著我的手漬的書，
一冊。一本。成套。堆疊。滿櫃。滿屋。
會想分人看，也會想分人的書來看。

似乎在書的世界裡，事實和想像失去距離。
書是。理想國。

去買書，沒有太多因為，不必多餘的理由。
純粹的。閱讀。
單純的。幸福。

如果在冬夜，來一杯黑啤酒。

今天和喬治還有小皓一起，
去了一家有很多比利時啤酒的 pub。
三個人一人一支~


我不懂啤酒，也不擅長喝啤酒，
因為我不會吐氣。
真的，喝個小半杯~
肚子就鼓起來了。

冷冷的冬夜，暖暖的屋裡。
冰冰的啤酒，熱熱的臉頰。


老實說，我只適合黑啤酒。
今天嚐了一口小皓點的~
帶有甜甜蜂蜜香味的啤酒，
就覺得呼吸變得緊緊的。

我點的那支黑啤酒倒挺好喝，
除了喝到後來甜到不行。
聽說這支酒的酵母可以減肥呢~



[相片說明]
上到下依序是: 我的黑皮，喬治的白皮，小皓的果皮。

自言自語

可能是因為年紀大了，很容易就被小小的事打動。
很快樂會想哭，感到幸福會紅了眼，
受委屈或傷心就不用說了，淚如雨下。

小時候，常常得到作文比賽的獎，就以為長大可能是作家。
後來，因為參加幾次演講比賽，也都不負眾望的拿個名次回來，
於是為了照顧我而辭去教職的--媽媽--希望我去唸法律或外文。
不幸高一那一年，歷史地理都補考兩次才低空飛過，
媽媽只好放我去唸自然組。

當醫生的爸爸，在心裡期望著有孩子承接衣缽，
卻從不曾透露一點點口風。
爸爸總跟我說「有興趣什麼就去唸什麼」。

小小的我驕傲的說「我不要當醫生，我要當醫生的老師」。
於是走上了這條不歸路，為了成為醫生的老師努力修行。

在實驗室與實驗室之間 ，從青春正盛的高中生活開始我的探索。
大學碩士班工作四年重回校園到取得博士學位，
長了年紀才知道，老套的「學海無邊」，一點兒不假。

唯一沒變的是自言自語的習慣。
寫日記是從小就會做的事，感覺像跟另一個自己說話。
在這個虛擬空間裡我，不改本性。繼續。自言自語。


[相片介紹]
丹丹是我的第一隻貓咪--咪咪--的小孩，出生於1996年1月26日。
延續咪咪的陪伴，從我懵懂無知到嫁做人婦。
現在是我們家年紀最大的成員。

是結束也是開始

冷冷的冬日午後~
窩在家裡吹暖氣很幸福。
想起去年的這個時候，辛苦的冰冷著雙手，
守著電腦一字一句地拼湊我的論文的日子。。。

下週起就要正式邁入生命中的新階段，
希望能過得更精采更漂亮。
從小我就不甘心安靜過日子~
現在依然喜歡有聲有色的生活方式。

來加入我的快樂小棧吧~
讓我的丹我的豆敎你自處處人
讓我所聽我所聞豐富你的生命
也讓我的笑我的淚打動你的心

快。樂。小。棧。歡。迎。你。的。光。臨。